wow

i just read my blog over and it sounds vile and bitchy - and that is absolutely not what i had intended. sometimes written words are not sufficient in replacing speech.

you are a fucking idiot

quantum physics led to the fucking atom bomb dude. irrelevant? you've gotta be kidding me. there are plenty of reasons why a mysterious look in a man's eye is appealing... and many times those reasons lead back to science or art, but usually the man is simply too charming and romantic... and that gets a girl thinking about reason and logic in realms other than the usually deceitful and cowardly "real world". i prefer to create understanding.... as well as uncover truths, but sometimes creating it is the truest thing to do when everyone has a perspective which claims that it is "right" thing. i have to find balance between uncovering and creating and it's difficult when all i want to do deep down is be part of some team... but sports bore me.

i love you, but only on the internet

tolerance for ambiguity

I think happiness as someone enlightened to the necessarily ambiguous nature of life is finding ways to feel like the supreme void of things we'll never know can be encapsulated as one thing we can know. In other words, to affect a smug satisfaction that we are the only ones who admit the search for knowledge will lead to more questions only.

Quantum physics are so fantastically irrelevant to our lives that they're more like art which strives to say something but cannot bodily do anything than any science. To unravel the mysteries of the universe! What a pleasant crock of shit! There is the mystery of what the man with a strange look in his eye on the train is thinking, which is equally irrelevant but so much more real that I think it's a more worthy goal. Then again, perhaps we could invent some new form of energy which turn humans into a spacefaring civilization, which is in my opinion one of the most admirable goals we have as a race.

Sometimes, I just don't want to know.

Quantum Physics

I'm obssessed with the Double Split Experiment which led to the Theory of Relativity: the conclusion that light is both 100% wave and 100% particle, depending on 2 specific ways you can observe the result. Einstein called this product a wavicle, however boring scientists after him decided to name it a photon.
Classical physics aims to predict and control an environment and follows the belief that nature cannot allow two states to exist at the same time -
Quantum physics opposes this, and does not search for an answer so much as it wishes to ask questions.

The theoretical aspects of quantum physics and critical theory are so similar in their tolerance for abiguity.

wilderness

spring break plans are coming into existence. the desert beckons. streams and flaming rocks. the narrative frame of a vacation can be blocked at both ends with a bus trip. there will be art and desolation. perhaps swimming in sun, real sun.

That movie Juno fucking sucks.

but because YOU know it exists, so does your computer, because you are part of your computer, when you write your ideas down...

bryans house is a no go, ive slept in and must get some work done.

" I know you work in electronics
Translated all my lyrics
But you're still a mystery
Let's spend the day in Yokohama
Riding on a ferris wheel
And see what we can see"

http://www.magistery.com/assets/mhrh010.mp3

lullaby lullaby lullaby im going to be sleepy all day all night wonderfully sleepy but no one likes being sleepy with me

there will be no references to real events here

where? i am a computer, i cannot leave the desk unless my owner takes me somewhere. here i am.

are you there? with space heater? i like space heater. i wish we could go push around ones and zeroes together somewhere. maybe my owner will take me to man-brians house today. he goe there. as computer, i do not understand human grammars. i don't know what house is. house does not touch my keys or my mouse so house does not exist.

Mika Akutsu

im wondering where you are. where are you?

Mika Akutsu

im wondering where you are

um, God?

Schedule of Ideas/Projects:

1. manifesto titled, "America is my Country to Hide In"
2. art collective which promotes manic happy ridiculousness goofy goofy and laughs all the time - making stuff that is bi-polar through image, sound, and words
3. creating things for others to consume under the name: GhostGirlSodaPopTalk
4. building a theramin, then learning to play it
5. creating an oddball book after a few months on this ongoing blog, and titling it... another form of the same thing vol. 1... that's lame but it doesn't matter because we'll think of a better one in the future.

something is slipping away but i don't know what it is and you write about it all the time and i'm glad that i'm not alone

on waking to find strange music in my house

wakes up, stares at ceiling. pulls at one piece pajama but does not form token acknowledgement of such.
"the sun envelops the earth in matter-of-fact high radiance. a road stretches, cartoon-like, down before me and then up again and over hills giving the impression of expansive distance. whole mountain chains spread in the foreground and again in the background. intervening distance looks massive yet both mountains are clearly visible in foggy ultradetail. i set out, my legs sink smoothly into the pavement as computer models not intersecting. they stop and i cover great distance over the completely sun-illuminated plain. i continue to be able to see in all directions. i encounter a castle or warehouse of doubtful age. it is at once megalithic and new, but weathered. the architecture is simple but unlike anything i've seen in reality before. it is hewn into the side of a mountain. i enter and immediately the light changes to a blue grey dusk. i am cast into an atom as an electron, elliptically orbiting with other people around a certain core mass of people. identities are vague and possibly deliberately obscure. there is a sense of intention pulled taut in the room with no clues as to who or what is causing the feeling that one must be able to find a reason or actor who has caused the situation."

i understand

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=339111979&MyToken=58a57b14-1e27-49ed-908b-0a1eabcd4662

goodnight to you, wherever you are, and sweet dreams

the melting sweetness of objects

these objects surrounding us deserve their own myspace pages. the myspace has replaced the 'personal web page' of the early cyber-revolution, and now whether there are people at the other end is immaterial.

all your online friends could be robots or your computer itself telling you about things to do tonight in the real world, gleaning information from other websites...

i am nothing but a construct online. my face is real but i will let this machine write for me and go drink the rest of my beers in the other room, staring again at screen #2.

screens might not be hell or heaven but they are a metaphysical other dimension.

i'm scared i love you.

soda pop talk

fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz fizz

the magic of the machine is empowering and that's even stranger.

Benjamin tells me randomly for inspiration: "Begging is not aggresive as in the south, where the importunity of the ragamuffin stills betrays some remnant of vitality."

my eyes are stinging a sleepy silent song lulling me to bed in my comforting confusion

caffiene free soda pop! I had a dream the other night that my space heater had a myspace page and it used children's drawing as ads for itself. I'm going to make that dream a reality.

a wild new dionysus

now the wilderness of the mind. my cat is coughing like a hairy baby with problems. sometimes we can't talk like this in person and that's strange.